"I CAN WIN ANY ARGUMENT (Canadian Edition)"

Ever get in an argument with another Canadian? Here's how you can win every time.

Step 1: Get into an argument on any non-health care related issue.

Step 2: Ensure that the argument ventures into the financial costs of the project/program.

Step 3: BRING IN THE HEAVY ARTILLERY!

Example #1

Foe: "I think support for the Canadian film industry is important. The arts require government support to ensure that independent filmmakers are not necessarily bound by the major studios and are free to pursue potentially controversial subjects.

You: "Really? Well, it costs money to fund these independent filmmakers. Don't you think funding health care is important?"

Foe: "Well, yes, of course, but..."

You: "Do you think an independent film is worth the cost of SOMEONE'S LIFE? Say, your grandmother for example? Would you KILL your grandmother for an independent film?"

Foe: "That's not really the point..."

You: "So, basically, you're saying that you would MURDER your own grandmother in the name of independent filmmaking. Congratulations Albert Schweitzer."

Example #2

Foe: "I think it's important that our brave men and women in uniform are equipped properly so that they can carry out our nation's mandate overseas with respect to our foreign policy."

You: "Naturally, the military is important. But so is health-care."

Foe: "Right, but a government isn't only responsible for one area of activity. There are a variety of services that require government..."

You: "Really? So, you're saying that you would KILL your own CHILDREN to ensure that Corporal Canuck gets a new helmet? Is that what you're saying? Because health-care funding doesn't come from the sky. It's a zero-sum game pal."

Foe: "So, what, the government can't spend a cent on anything besides health care?"

You: "You're learning fast, my friend. CBC? Gone. Flags? Gone. New stamps? Gone. Health care, health care, health care. Because if you start giving out flags on Canada Day, you're prematurely ending the lives of numerous Canadian citizens."